Friday, November 29, 2013

Choosing Your Friend

Disclaimer: Photo not belong to YPPA Inc.

Ibn Qudamah (may Allah have Mercy on him) said:

“Know that not everyone is suitable to be your friend. You must verify that this potential friend has the necessary characteristics that make friendship with him something to be desired. The one you seek to befriend must have five characteristics:

  • He must be intelligent. There is no good in befriending an idiot, as he will only harm you when he wants to benefit you. By intelligent, we mean one he understands things as they are on his own or if they are explained to him.
  • He must have good manners, and this is a must. One who is simply intelligent might be overcome by anger or desire, and obey his desire. Thus, there would be no benefit in befriending him.
  • He must not be a fasiq. Such a person would not fear Allah, and whoever does not fear Allah cannot be trusted.
  • He must not be an innovator, as there is a fear of being overtaken by his innovation.
  • He should not be eager for the dunya.

‘Umar bin al-Khattab (may Allah be Pleased with him) said:

 “Stick with your true brothers. You can live in comfort with them, as they are a delight in times of ease, and you can lean on them in times of hardship. Assume the best about your brother until he comes with something that should alarm you from him. Avoid your enemy, and beware of befriending anyone but the trustworthy, and there is no trust for the one who doesn’t fear Allah. Do not befriend the corrupt, as he will teach you his corruption, and do not reveal your secrets to him, and only consult those who fear Allah, the Exalted.”

Source: [Mukhtasar Minhaj al-Qasidin'; p. 126-132]